yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
