and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
