I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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