I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
