He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
