I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize