Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
