Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
