Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
there was a trapeze. enough said
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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