i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
