Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
