it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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