were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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