how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
do herpes really smell.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
