so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Operation Purity has been aborted
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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