Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm eating all of the evidence.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
