8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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