I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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