Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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