You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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