Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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