grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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