i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
