A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
