u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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