My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
