I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
