My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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