I understand Curling. That high.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize