dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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