stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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