ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
