Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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