I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
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