Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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