I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
