Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
