Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
