i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
