He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
