no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
