Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
