Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
