Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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