god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
