You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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