4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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