I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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