you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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