Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
